The Dinosaur Soothsayer
Nostrasaurus :I see terrible things in your future.
Dinosaur: What? Tell me!
Nostrasaurus: I see your skeleton assembled in a large room. There are little creatures - humans, they’re called - and they’re interested in your skeleton. They’re all looking at it and talking about
Dinosaur: That’s horrible! What kind of beasts would do such a thing?! It is one thing to kill for food, but to kill just to stare upon the bones of the victim? That’s brutality!
Nostrasaurus: Oh no, they have not killed you. But they’ve found your bones buried deep in the ground, extracted them and put them on display for their whole species to observe.
Dinosaur: This — this is terrible news. Is there a way I can kill them first so I might avoid this horrible future?
Nostrasaurus: No. I’m afraid not.
Dinosaur: I — I don’t know what to say. I feel so — so helpless.
Nostrasaurus: Wait! I’m getting something — oh –OH! A vision!
Dinosaur: What is it? Will I have my revenge on these creatures?
Nostrasaurus: YES! Because of us - all of us, from the smallest creature in the sea to the largest beasts on the land - they will bring untold harm upon themselves!
Dinosaur: Tell me more!
Nostrasaurus: They will kill each other over us! We will be the cause of their wars and the root of their deepest problems. We will plague them, we will destroy their world and their bodies but they will not be able to purge themselves of our influence.
Dinosaur: This is wonderful news! What must we do?
Nostrasaurus: We must die. Then we must sink into the ground, experience untold eons of heat and pressure before turning into a flammable, black liquid.
Dinosaur: Oh. So the dying is part of it?
Nostrasaurus: Yup.
Dinosaur: Huh. Well, as long they won’t put my bones on display.
Nostrasaurus: No, they’re still going to do that.
Dinosaur: Oh, so we still have to die, then they’ll kill each other and they’ll still put our bones on display?
Nostrasaurus: Correct.
Dinosaur: Doesn’t seem to be an upside, huh?
Nostrasaurus: I guess not.
Dinosaur: I wish I had bigger arms.
Nostrasaurus: I KNOW, right?!
PART 2
NOS: Don’t worry about the arms. They will evolve into something called wings. Like the pterodactylus.
DINO: That sounds fabulous. You mean my descendants will become these gigantic flying beasts, like something I’ll call dragons.
NOS: Not quite. You see, as the wings develop, your body mass will get smaller so your wings can get you airborne. You will be named something called, birds.
DINO: Can you give ’small’ some perspective?
NOS: Some birds will be smaller than the humans looking at your bones and be called canaries and kept in cages for their amusement.
DINO: I guess I only have one option while I’m here. PAR-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
NOS: Hardy.
